Or in turnabout, the “demon” PTSD becomes… War against Others.
In my experience the Internal War could proceed at any time – usually without warning. I finally understood I was reenacting the internal/external War of my American Indian mother, who was in turn reenacting the War on all American Indians.
Wars/PTSD take prisoners and execute/take Life indiscriminately.
War/PTSD is blind to age, sex and color…it does not care.
PTSD can make your life a prison within which you are miserable with Pain; no way out and no mercy. There is no one to plead your innocence and no one to tell you why you have been sentenced to “prison” …or if you will ever be “pardoned.”
Finally, unable to contain the insatiable Pain, the only way clear seems to be to kill your self, – that way the pain will finally be stilled. The misery of PTSD doesn’t allow you to understand that you will have passed PTSD on to all who know or care about you. Thus, the circle of suffering continues.
OR – you turn the Pain outward thinking you can give the Pain away by attacking or killing another not realizing you will still retain PTSD. You have simply infected someone else and again the circle of suffering continues.
But the leaders say “We MUST make war! We’ve ALWAYS made wars! And because we’ve always made them – then it must be the way things are!”
Wars can be stilled on the micro-level – there is no other way for Peace both inward and outward to manifest:
An old Cherokee Chief was teaching his grandson about Life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil; he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt and ego. The other is good; he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. This same fight is going on inside of you and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather. “Which wolf will win?”
The old chief simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Will these wise words of the Indian grandfather heal PTSD? Of Course not…it’s simply a place to start. I started there on my long road to recovery. I highly recommend it.
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